November
We met on neutral ground today
a coffee shop with two exits
for all the good they did me
I sat across from him
listening
and listening
words poured from him
many of which I had heard before
he told me how well he looked
how people often mistook him
for a much younger man
I listened
he explained to me how it feels to be without
to be broke, to have nothing
before informing me that his hotel room
last week in London
cost £400
a night
it was his treat to himself
the man who has nothing
I glanced at the exits
then at my watch
I looked down at my coffee
gently tapped the side of the mug
watched ripples roll from side to side
he kept talking
as the coffee stilled
an hour passed sheepishly by
he told me, again, of his achievements
of those who wronged him
he casually listed off the things he needed me to do for him
telling me that he hadn’t the time
nor the patience for them
I looked back down at my coffee
I felt shame burrow into the base of my spine
there were two exits
I spoke then, I mentioned something from my life
he paused, wide eyed, perhaps surprised
to see me
perhaps surprised that I would dare
I held his gaze and, in his eyes, I saw disdain
sailing on a lake of apathy
he excused himself and went to the toilet
on the way he cracked a joke with a waitress
she smiled politely
he roared
I winced
the coffee was cold on my tongue
I saw November out the window
mild and calm and waiting
under my breath I hummed a song
I put a smile on my face
to try and trick myself
he returned
the coffee stilled
I took a breath
he told me what he had said to the waitress
he explained that people enjoy him
he said that he had made her day
that she would tell her friends later on
about him
about how he made her laugh and laugh
people enjoy him
he is a giver
he is a listener
he can’t understand why people don’t return his calls
why they cut him off
he reminds me of the work he needs me to do
he smiles and shakes his head and throws his hands out before him
exasperated
he has better things to do
but I will enjoy it
it will be good for me
he will visit every week to check on my progress
there were two exits