The Sunniest Day

Most of that day is lost to me

I let it slip through my splayed fingers

not happily, but eagerly

fragments remain, luminous detail

branded onto the lining of my mind

The sun, daring me not to squint

so bright as I walked toward it

the flaking paint on our front door

the creak as it opened and

my “hello” trying to find you

It was your shoes I noticed first, pristine

saved for special occasions

for nearly one whole heartbeat

I tried to ignore the fact that they

were two feet from the floor

The conspicuous flatness of your belly

almost at my eyeline

then, that violent eruption of silence

pushing me to our chocolate coloured carpet

The paint still flakes on our front door

I will paint it soon

I promise

It doesn’t hurt because you left me

it hurts

because I stayed