Mohawk Valley Community College Library

I spent years in easy delirium searching

for despair and beating hearts on dusty shelves

in second-hand book shops

fingertip searching while time stood still

driven by drunken hope

looking for that patient needle

 

over time those bookshops fell

to progress

musty smells and memories

treasures for us chosen few

 

the thrill is duller now

when striking gold online

I was an archaeologist

thumbing through lives

through hard-earned days

now I type and

my fingertips are clean

 

to end a twenty-year search

I ordered a Bukowski

I hadn’t wanted the search to end

not like this

but

I ached to hold that book

to roll the words around my mouth

before I swallowed

 

a week later it arrived

pristine

unread

it had been discarded

from Mohawk Valley Community College Library

having never been checked out

not once

I looked up Mohawk Valley

it is in Oneida County, New York

it must be a hell of a place