Him

I had heard

at the market

hushed whispers

of him

​

doe eyed women gossiped

men were silently respectful

 

I was introduced to him

and understood

his eyes were all the colours

they saw me

and they knew me

 

I wanted him to love me

through his perfect smile

he said

he did

and kissed me

first

 

I defended him

against the jealous

the doubters

I crumpled my life

into a ball and

 

solemnly

handed it to him

​

it was wondrous

for a time

until I peeked behind the curtain

and saw the innards

 

of the show

lights and sandbags

trapdoors and ropes

 

I saw his facade slip

once

then twice

I saw him snap and

sulk and sneer when

he thought no one could see

I saw

I saw

 

the others looked at him

in raptures

oblivious

without question

I envied them

he loved them too

he loved everyone

​

I watched his legend grow

and stood idly by

 

I heard impossible truths

that I knew to be lies

rendered mute by his narcissism

his stories sprouted wings

and flew off toward the horizon

 

I took the money

to bring them to him

to bring an end to the pantomime

my name shall be remembered

I am the bringer of truth

I am Judas Iscariot

I regret nothing